Artificial Intelligence

So I survived Christmas. The mince pie soup was lovely and the man-made Christmas decorations were a choking hazard [Those Crafty Little…].

Christmas with a 3 year old is certainly a different beast and the present buying requirements were slightly increased beyond the novelty slippers and box of Ferrero Rocher for Mrs DB.

My mind has now turned to the New Year – unusual that isn’t it? Must have been as I turned the page on my “Classic Tractors Calendar 2017”. I’m nothing if not current.

As a result, I’ve come to the conclusion that 2017 is going to be a fairly big year in DB Towers. There’s the argument we’re having with the Council about the Japanese Knotweed invasion in the back garden; there’s the Barista course (mid April) I’ve signed up for to improve the froth on my lattes (please note Pre-School mums, there will be no coffee mornings until early May. More details to follow separately); and then there’s this two kids business.


With all this going on I am worried where I’m going to find the time to read the two, yes TWO, cow husbandry books I received as Christmas presents.

As a slight aside (and in the spirit of public service)…

  • Book 1 is excellent and gives lots of detail in easily to understand layman’s terms.
  • Book 2 is a nightmare for a prospective farmer with a 3 year old with a love of cows, given the often graphic pictorial depictions of farming related events. B may never be the same after the night his bed time story was the chapter on Artificial Insemination. Well a boy has to learn sometime and it better be before he’s tasked with fertilising the girls, rather than when he’s actually out in the field doing it. This is one area where on the job training may have some unacceptable Health & Safety risks.

This New Year has already resulted in a significant amount of additional workload, including recording a series of stories on CD for Little G to have played to her over the next couple of weeks, as she goes to sleep and buying an assortment of brackets from Homebase, so vast and varied it would be practically impossible for a piece of furniture to be inadequately secured to a wall (in order to minimise any non AI related H&S issues).

I can assure you that I’ve chosen appropriate stories for a young lady to hear but in the next couple of weeks I will also be marketing my new talking book collection. If anyone is interested in an advanced copy of “Bovine Breach Birth and Caesarean Successes – read by Dad’s Barmy”, please feel free to drop me a postal order.

Rest assured I still have time to get done everything I need to; including emailing the Highways Agency to complain about the insufficient road markings on my designated motorway slip road.

Petty? Petty?

You’ll thank me for all this when you’re not squashed by a juggernaut and you’re milk yield makes your smallholding economically viable.


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